Once upon a time (San Nicolas Island 1960), it was customary for all SNI personnel to maintain a locker at Pt. Mugu to store civilian clothing which was forbidden at the NAVFAC. Prior to the flight from Pt. Mugu to SNI, personnel would gather at the air terminal, and change into the uniform of the day. Now SO1 Franklin was a particularly fussy sort, and since his family lived in the area, his dungarees were always starched and crisp (could slice tomatoes with those creases). But SO1 Franklin shared a locker with SOO3 John Leininger who was barely taller than "real short". On one fateful morning, SO1 Franklin was kneeling in front of the locker to tie his recently spit-schined navy issues. Prior to kneeling down, he placed his full cup of fresh coffee safely (he thought) on top of the locker. Just then John tried to reach something from the top shelf, and in order to reach the item, he stepped on the first shelf for added height. Now you can see this playing out, can't you? John steps up, locker rocks forward just enough to tip the coffee cup. John yells out, moves quickly to get out of the way, and SO1 Franklin looks up at the very last moment. SO1 Franklin wore the entire cup of coffee, except the portion that filled the top of his (now brown) whitehat.

Just as SO1 Franklin reached into his dufflebag for a clean set of starched duds, the announcement was made that the plane was now ready to board and would be departing immediately. As the flight winged it's way toward San Nicolas Island on the 25 minute flight, SO1 Franklin's face was red and stern. Didn't help that about a dozen people asked him what had happened. Of course our first watch back was the EVE. John was plotter, I was reader, and you guessed it, SO1 Franklin was the supervisor. Just go ahead and try to stand 8 hours of watch without snickering and giggling. There are a lot of my Navy days I will always remember. That one is a "keeper"

Nick

Glad you started this post - getting some really great stories.

Here is one that could have come straight out of Reader's Digest "Humor In Uniform" - but, swear to God......true in every sense of the word:

I was an SOG2 on my second enlistment (6 years) and in my last year of a 2 yr shore duty tour as Sonar Instructor at the Naval Reserve Center, Denver CO (1963-65), prir to attending Sonar B School in San Diego.

We had about 15-20 active duty guys and a few TAR's (Temporary Active Reserve personnel - active 180 days at a time). One of them was a YN2 who was almost bald on top and (REALLY) wore a toupee!!

The Admiral from the 9th Naval District was on board for an inspection of, literally, hundreds of personnel. The huge drill hall was nearly filled with both enlisted and officers comprising two Large Surface Divisions, a Construction Battalion, a Coast Guard Division, as well as a contingent of Marines, each in perfectly aligned ranks.

As the Admiral, accompanied by our CO and LCPO (YNC)was passing down the rear of the rank just in front of where I was standing, he almost went by this YN2 (the one with the toupee) who was holding his white hat at his side. At that point, he turned back - looked at this guy's hair and said "Sailor, you are going to need a haircut about 30 seconds after I finish my inspection."

Without hesitation, this YN2 (wish I could recall his name) - reached up with his free hand, whipped off his toupee - and replied: "Is that quick enough Admiral" !!!

You guessed it, everyone in the rank I was in broke out in a laugh. How could you possibly help it??

The Admiral just shook his head - said "carry on sailor" and resumed his inspection of the remaining troops.

Without doubt, one of the funniest memories of my Naval career.

Cheers to all..........

Irv (Dee)

I remember Billy and his softball prowess. Probably got that spelling wrong. Anyway the locals and Pan Am loved to play fastpitch on Sunday. Billy was always ready as were you and quite a number of us. Those were great Sundays. I remember Billy in maintenance. He hated it and only went to maint school to advance. You're right, he didn't say much but wasn't shy about his dislike for maintenance. Me, Billy, and Charlie Kohn used to race to see who could finish lunch the quickest so we got first dibs on the Acey Ducey board. Great times Antigua.

Rick

I am pretty sure Billy Howard and I were in the same class at OT Maint School in summer of 1971. Also, I am almost positive that Charlie Kohn was there also, but not in our class.

Another that was in our class was John Ellis.

One of our instructors was Jim Daniels.

Funny story part: Not sure who it was but someone was telling a joke in the equipment room at school. We were on a "coffee break" - in whites and khakis.

I had just taken a long sip of my coffee and was facing Jim Daniels - right when the "punch line" was delivered. Oh yeah, my ensuing laugh caused a mouthfull of coffee to shower OTC Daniels with a color of brown that did not quite compliment his dress kahki's !! His face turned beet red with rage. blood vessels protruded from his temples, and I thought he would have a heart attack !!

Was not my best day in school.

Two weeks later, he had "brushed it off" and he, myself and Fred Schwanz were out on Jim's boat fishing !!

Dee

Hilarious stories! During my 1st Kef tour I had a plotter in my section who was a bit high strung and nervous, and who was absolutely scared to death of George Widenor (not sure why, George was such a pushover). If the MC came in the display room this guy would do anything he could to avoid George, his stare or questions. He would actually start shaking if George came near him. The guy came up with a nickname for George and it was "Crusher", lol just something that summed up the MC's presence in his mind, and he made the mistake of telling a few of us. The next time George had IWO duty I told him about the nickname and about 0200 he came in to make the duty rounds, etc. He approached the plot without saying anything and of course my plotter was trying to draw a LOB with shaking hands.. After a few moments, George asked the guy in a somewhat strong voice, "What's this Crusher bull-sxxx??" I have never seen anyone turn so pale and grab his heart like that! The poor guy stood upright, still holding his chest, and started stumbling backwards, thought for sure it was CPR time. Finally, everyone started laughing and he calmed down enough to slump to the floor and just shake his head...after that episode I think he could actually function with George around.

The funniest thing I remember involves OT3 Denny Harrington and a bottle of White-Out.

I was a very new OTSA standing the Mid-Watch on Midway Island, February, 1976, with OT1 Rick Matthews, OT2 Jack Rose, Ensign Eileen Bruner, RM3 Bea Dwonch, RM2 Carole Frye and a few others.

As the "newbie" I got stuck with mulch monster duty. When I came out of the little room I saw Denny bent over a table and the watch gathered around him laughing like maniacs.

We had a personnel inspect at the end of the watch, Denny had bought a new pair of dungarees but forgot to stencil his name on the back of his new pants. Bea was trying to write H-A-R-R-I-N-G-T-O-N above his back pocket with White-Out! By the second R the White-Out was getting clumpy, the letters were getting bigger and we were all in tears with our sides splitting.

The first day of class was an eye opener. We started out with a brief introduction about what the course would consist of, followed by a warning that we would have a test every Friday morning of the 5 week course. Anyone who scored less than a 70 (passing grade) would be removed from the school and sent to “one of those long lean grey things out of Newport”. Great, now I could end up on a destroyer, but not as a sonarman, but as a non-designated striker….in other words, as the lowest of the low.

Classes ran from 8 AM to 4 PM with a lunch break. There were NO books to use. Instead we were given a notebook, and had to take notes from lectures delivered by a variety of instructors. If you’ve ever tried to take notes while listening to a fast paced presentation, you can imagine how doing it for 8 hours a day left us feeling.

There was also evening study. This was mandatory for anyone who had scored less than an 90 on the previous week’s test. It was “highly encouraged” for all others.

The weekly test was given in the morning, and was graded during our lunch break. The results were then reviewed in the afternoon, with lots of lively discussion. The discussion usually went along the lines of “The answer to number six is True. But pertty officer Johnson, you said on Wednesday in your lecture that we would never see that! No I didn’t, the answer is true!”

Now, I don’t want to cast doubt on the quality of the instructors during my time at the school, but all lessons were given from written lesson plans. It is human nature to apply your own experiences to the material, and so, the lesson plan might say it’s highly unlikely you will ever see this, but the instructor who had 12 years experience, might say I’ve NEVER seen this.

I can also remember one Chief who delivered lectures in a dull boring monotone. It was especially noticeable after lunch, when as every one knows, you are already a bit sleepy from the full stomach, and the heat.

To counteract the tendency of sailors to fall asleep during his lecture, this Chief used to occasionally select a student at random and bellow out a question to him. This was always startling, especially if you were dozing. On one occasion he bellowed out “JONES, where will you find the ships service turbo generator on a US NUC”? Jonesy was nearly asleep when he did this, and in the fog of a full stomach, mumbled “Amidships”?

There was dead silence for about 30 seconds as we all wondered if Jones was going to be dragged out and killed. The Chief’s face went white, then red, then purple. He slammed down his pointer, threw his hat at Jones and stormed out of the room.

20 students sat there for over half an hour wondering what we should do, but none of us had the guts to go and ask. Finally, a Second class instructor came in and told us to go have a break……The Chief didn’t come back to give another lecture for several days.

Your post brings me back to May of 1970, two things left out were how the room temps were lowered to keep
the class awake and how to properly use a chipping hammer to remove paint! I love the detail of your comments can't argue with the accuracy.

How to motivate: I walked out of the instructors lounge one day and heard CPO Dan Solberg giving a very fine motivational speach to one of his students. There were several instructors at the door listening.
Filled with "if you study harder, you will do better", "help is available at night school". You know the drill. At the very end Dan told the young man "and if you don't pass the test tomorrow, I'm going to drag you back in here and drive you through the floor like a nail".
We all split in every direction trying not to laugh. The young man passed his next test.