Poland and Polish Discussion Group and Forum

Welcome to the original English language Poland and Polish discussion group board. This message forum is a place where English-speaking Poles, foreigners (expats) living in Poland, and anyone with a genuine interest in Poland can discuss and read the views of others concerning Poland. Subjects include: Polish news and current affairs; Life in Poland; politics; genealogy research; Polish culture and history; advice and tips on visiting Poland; Polish property and investment issues. The aim of our group is to increase awareness of wonderful Poland using the English language and allow and foster the honest debate and exchange of opinions on anything vaguely related to Poland and Polish - positive, negative and/or neutral! To state the obvious: all opinions and views expressed on this site are solely those of their respective authors and are not necessarily those of anyone else! Messages consisting of ads will be deleted.

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Poland and Polish Discussion Group and Forum
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Polish 'news stories'

"Help! Poland is a Ghost Town," Says Polish PM, "I May have to Shutdown My Country."

Donald Tusk, Poland's Prime Minister, made a heartfelt plea this morning asking for support and aid from the UN. Polish people are leaving their country at such a fast rate, that a study suggests by 2010, Poland will have to close.

"We are begging people to return," said Tusk. "We are even offering incentives like free prostitution, alcohol and drugs but no-one is interested."

Poland's population was close to 38m at the end of the 1980s, but since the country joined the EU in 2004, the floodgates opened and residents have literally poured out into other European States.

"The population is now well under 1m," continued Tusk. "I feel so alone. My hometown of Sopot had 40,000 people 15 years ago. Now there's just my family, 6 retired fishermen and a mangy dog."

But this massive people drain has offered spectacular opportunities to other Nationalities. Coach loads of British workers are presently heading for Poland due to the many work opportunities available.

"They have taken our jobs, so why not take theirs," commented former Peterborough brick layer Ricky Jones.

Due to the billions of euros cascading into Poland from the EU slush fund, there are countless tasks available to improve the country's infrastructure - from roads and pipelines to general building work.

In fact, so many British are moving to Poland that there are rumours the two countries may swop names.

Jones continued, "English pubs are appearing everywhere. The country's favourite food is now fish and chips. A National Polish cricket team has been set up; and there's even talk of creating a Monarchy."

The latest trend for Brits is to place 'ski' on the end of their names. "This is a quick and easy way to make us feel more integrated," commented Joneski. "Also, there are plans to change the country's name to Engpoland."

PM Donald Tusk commented, "I don't care who comes to my country, so long as I don't have to close it down. Although, I do not want any French people. The French smell."


Story found at:

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i37465

They also have a number of other 'Polish stories':

Poland to become part of UK
Poland bans anorexic models
Washed Up Racist Standup is Enjoying a Comeback Thanks to Polish Immigrants



Re: Polish 'news stories'

That 'spoof' site is one of the biggest pieces of rubbish I've seen in a while