I love my job. I also love the people I work with.

Now that's out of the way, let me tell you about the things patients do that drive me insane, (but that we can't possibly say to them!)

1) Husbands and wives: please don't come in together. If your spouse is 18 years or older, I'm sure they can handle this visit all by their little selves!
2) This is also not the time to be lovey-dovey. Have you noticed how many couples treat the OV as a date? (Cuddling on the exam table, giggling over who's BP is higher, bragging about who weighs more)
3) Speaking of weight, please don't jump on the scale unless you are here for a visit! You are holding up the patients who DO need to be weighed!
4) If you are just here for a blood draw, please don't ask me to refill your meds, take your BP, or check the mole on your leg!
5) If you are here to see the doctor about a cold, please talk about your cold! We do not have time to do a lesion removal, address your sudden chest pain, or pull your son in laws chart to see when he had his last tetanus injection! (Especially the last appointment before lunch!)
6) Please know what meds you take. It's not that hard. And don't say to me "Well, you should know. It's in my chart."
7) It's five minutes till 5 on a Friday, and you are screaming at me because you forgot you are out of Xanax. Please give us a little more notice than that.
8) We give samples of medication as a courtesy. It is not your God given right. There is nothing worse than giving a patient a few samples of Cialis, just for them to say, "Is this all you got?"
9) Please don't arrive 22 minutes late, then when I call you back, you say "I hope the doctor's running on time. I have to pick up my daughter in 10 minutes."
10) Please don't call the doc by his first name. You may be acquaintances, but it's disrespectful. Besides, I work side by side with him 9 hours a day and I don't even do that!

There are so many more!! Do you want to add anything?

Your Professional Title/Credentials: Certified Medical Assistant

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

DrT'sMA!

What a great post. Very well put together, and although true, interlaced with some great humor so we can look back and chuckle, rather than get reminded and more frustrated.

I would love to give this article a permanent place on my Website (MedicalAssistant.net or MedicalAssistantSite.com) to keep it from getting buried here by newer posts, and eventually deleted.

Would you give me permission?

Anyway, it does sound like you really DO love your job. Keep up the great work. Thanks for sharing.

Danni

Your Professional Title/Credentials: Website Owner/Forum Admin

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

If you are coming in for your GYN annual or any exam for that matter, PLEASE SHOWER! And maybe get dressed. We have lots of pt.s that look like the car door was next to the bed and they simply rolled out of bed into the car to the office. They say well since it is a 9 or 10 am apt. I just wore my pj's!!!

Your Professional Title/Credentials: MA

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

-Please don't tell the doctor what antibiotic you would like. There is a reason for why he chooses what he does.
-If you have a history of UTI's, you really should know we will be needing a urine sample.
- It is called sulfa, not SULFUR!! LOL
- If you are a grown person, and come in for a laceration, don't try to talk us out of giving stiches. Is this not why you came here?
- I cannot diagnose rashes over the phone. You must come in and be seen.
- Yes, you will have to drive 15 minutes to the pharmacy to get a script. So sorry for the inconvenience of not having samples

Your Professional Title/Credentials: RMA/CNA/SN

Are You Still In School? yes

Are You Working? yes

These posts wouldn't be half as funny if they were just listed as facts. What makes them great are the tongue in cheek comments and the style. Great job. For some reason I am tickled pink over these. Great writing!!!! We all know it's true.

Too bad I can't think of anything to add. Either it's writer's block or lack of humor. LOL.

Your Professional Title/Credentials: Website Owner/Forum Admin

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

LOL!! I love the 'shower before your pap' comment, and the 'it's SULFA, not SULPHUR' comment! Too funny.
(and TRUE!)

Danni, you have my permission to use this wherever you want. I just wanted to vent a little bit, and I feel relieved to know I'm not the only one! : )

Your Professional Title/Credentials: Certified Medical Assistant

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

1) Husbands and wives: please don't come in together. If your spouse is 18 years or older, I'm sure they can handle this visit all by their little selves!

Many spouses can be helpful in giving information. I have had spouses help in remembering things like history. Some times when some one is comming in because they are very ill or have a migraine, having their spouse there can HELP.

3) Speaking of weight, please don't jump on the scale unless you are here for a visit! You are holding up the patients who DO need to be weighed!

Although annoying, try just ignoring them and moving in, its not that big of a deal. I let them weigh themselves while I continue with my client in the room.

6) Please know what meds you take. It's not that hard. And don't say to me "Well, you should know. It's in my chart."

You must have clients that have small med lists. Some of my clients have med sheets of plenty, they do not know all the meds they take...older folks for sure," I take my blood pressure pill along with the yellow one in the morning"......
And you SHOULD know! I go down the list asking if they are still taking each medication.

It's five minutes till 5 on a Friday, and you are screaming at me because you forgot you are out of Xanax. Please give us a little more notice than that Boyd do I hear this one!!! Ugh!

Your Professional Title/Credentials: CCMA-C

Are You Still In School? BSN (Nursing school)

1) Get off the cell phone!
2) It's your medical insurance policy, you should know what you have to do!
3)Do not leave 10 voice mails about you needing pre auth for a med!
4)Don't cough in my face!!!!!

Your Professional Title/Credentials: MA, DT, CNA

Are You Still In School? yes

Are You Working? yes

I work in a busy Urgent Care that is part of a company that has about 50 or so primary docs. Many patients think that because we are part of the same network we work for the other docs. Not true. We get alot of the "I need my meds refilled." We say call your primary doc. "My meds are on file." Fine, could you show us where they are because we don't keep charts here. We tell a patient to follow up in a week with their primary doc for their results or whatever, and they come to us in a week! We do not do primary care! "I take a blue pill and a pink one, I don't know their names!" Sir, do you keep them in a bowl and just pop whatever ones you feel like taking? Don't get me wrong I love my job, but when we have the patients that come in with a serious medical condition they need our full attention. I can't be calling every pharmacy in the city trying to find out which meds you take! You're a big boy or girl who should know what you are ingesting for your health! I try to impress on the patients how dangerous it is to know what they are prescribed, but I know it goes in one ear and out the other. Oh, and as far as cell phones....I tell many patients every day to shut them off in the building. Believe me you want me to say it and not the doctor to.....it won't be pretty!

Your Professional Title/Credentials: CMA

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

how about...........

NO, I can't tell you exactly when the baby will be born! If I could, I'd be very rich!

Using the doppler to listen to your baby's heartbeat won't hurt the baby. Really.

Nope that med the doc suggested won't hurt your baby, he wouldn't suggest it if it would.

Please don't call with every little ache/twinge, pregnancy can be uncomfortable. But do let us know about any unusual or real pain.

When I'm drawing your blood in the lab, it is very very important that you ...KEEP STILL!!!! Please don't yank your arm away, and say but that hurt! And if you tend to get sick or faint let me know ahead of time so that I can draw you laying down, or have a basin ready..

Yes, you really do have to take off your under things for an annual exam. (pap test)

What about excuses and reasons for more narcotics? ie I dropped them down the sink..

Your Professional Title/Credentials: MA

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

narcotics?
I am allergic to codeine and imitrex

I usually get a " hot shot" and it gets better. Ok, if you know those terms, you may have had it once too many times! LOL
I have a bad tooth, bad back, migraine, and it is 9 pm on Sunday so I can't reach my doctor.

Your Professional Title/Credentials: RMA/CNA/SN

Are You Still In School? yes

Are You Working? yes

you know some of this really offensive, even to me. I know I'm really aprehensive as a patient, even though I'm on the other side. Especially pap exams. Someone else has you in their hands for christsake. I hope you keep your sarcastic mean comments to yourself, and not let them sneak out as smurking ssecretive glances. Actions speak louder than words. Have some empathy.

Your Professional Title/Credentials: student

Are You Still In School? yes

Are You Working? no

OK,here are some things from 3 sides,as an MA,a patient,and a caregiver-

The waiting room-In some places,such as a busy heart center,you can expect to be waiting over a half hour. I noticed those signs that say "If you have been waiting longer than 30 minutes,please notify the front desk" are not only in small print,but in areas where it's hard to notice them,least of all by elderly people with vision problems. Is it too much to ask that these signs be placed right where you can't miss them,in large lettering?
As for the wait-not all patients in heart centers are males and yet the one that I take my mother to have nothing but male oriented (in other words,dull) magazines in the waiting room. So we are stuck looking at the TV and sometimes they actually have those tabloid shows going,the last thing I want to be hearing when I am sitting there waiting so long. Can someone who is working behind that front desk make sure that junk isn't on,and change the channel? And that there are some good magazines to look at? These are simple requests that involve thinking of the patients.

Getting called in-My 81 year old mother is on oxygen and has severe osteoporosis. The visible dowager's hump should be evidence of painful spinal fractures. Have any idea how heavy a portable tank can be,especially if you are in back pain? I am usually there with her to carry the tank but if I am not,I always hope the MA/Nurse calling her in will assist her with the tank,but that doesn't always happen. Same with getting up on and down off the scale and the exam table. She always needs help or can easily lose her balance. But this can apply to anybody at any age who is very sick.

The exam room-Another long wait in this particular heart center,up to 45 minutes. First off,please always take my mother's pulse,for the full minute. Her irregular heartbeat needs to be noted. My mother sees a lot of doctors and I have never seen anyone take her pulse. EVERY patient everywhere should have P,R,B/P and T taken but it doesn't happen in every office. Why is that?
And please have some magazines in the exam room. Once I am done reading the charts and the brochures,I find myself opening the cupboards and drawers,just to alleviate the nervous boredom.
And last of all,please don't leave my mother on the exam table with the words "The doctor will see you shortly". First of all,we know that isn't true but most of all,she can't sit there with no support for a long period of time,not in her condition. I always either help her down to a chair or just have her vitals taken from the chair.

The medication list-we typed up,in large letters,all of my mother's medications. She has a copy in her purse and I have one I take for the MA/Nurse to look over and either copy from or make a copy of. They really appreciate seeing something like that. So this is what I wonder-how come an example of something like that can't be posted in exam rooms,along with the other bulletins? Every elderly person knows someone with a computer,if they can't do it themselves. It doesn't occur to a lot of them to do that. They either write it out and you have to decipher what they wrote,bring in the bottles,or worse yet and probably more common,just don't know what they are taking.


And a word of warning to workers who have student MAs come in-The students don't want to hear you badmouthing patients,calling them derogatory names behind their back. I saw it in my externship and was disgusted and since I had no intention of working there,reported it on my last day. When I would hear that kind of talk,the complaints about the patients,I would never join in. It's that type of groupthink that can lead to the insensitivity.

Your Professional Title/Credentials: RMA

Are You Still In School? No

Are You Working? Not now

"I hope you keep your sarcastic mean comments to yourself, and not let them sneak out as smurking ssecretive glances."



I just saw the post from Lot.

Wow! I think that was uncalled for.

First, the post was called things you WISH you could tell pt.s. It was for blowing off steam. I would never say anything mean or rude. and I resent the implication that I do! I am very professional with my pt.s. I would not have a job for long if I wasn't!

Second- I'm not sure I even know how to make a " smurking ssecretive glance." Yes, having a pap is a personal thing and you are in a vulnerable position. But I also think most of us have indeed at the very least showered in the 24 hours preceding the visit and come in clothes that are mostly clean and don't smell really bad. Hygene was the point of my post. I love my pt.s. 99% of them are great! I'm talking about the ones who are on drugs, and think the pregnancy is a bother and we should "just get this @!#$ brat out of me, 'cause I'm sick of it" I still treat them with respect even when it is not extended to me. BUT I can still vent the things I don't say,.. to my peers in a humuous way, with no names involved.

Plus I learned a few thing not to do....!

Your Professional Title/Credentials: MA

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

I'd like to make clear that the nurses/MA's never speak to each other in negative ways about pt.s. We could be overheard and then HIPPA laws are violated.

Your Professional Title/Credentials: MA

Are You Still In School? no

Are You Working? yes

Right! Nobody here would be this unprofessional, I am sure. From what I can tell, everybody here is taking this job very serious, and we love what we do, including our patients.

We all know, that sarcastic mean comments, and smurking glances have NO place in any medical office, clinic, hospital, or operating rooms.

(And by the way... I've heard about surgeons that have been caught saying really unkind things, thinking the patient is unaware... now that's really NOT funny at all, but plain disgusting!)


To be honest, I didn't take the title "Things You Wish YOU COULD TELL The Patient" too serious. I am willing to bet, neither the original poster, nor anybody of us would do that.

Danni

Your Professional Title/Credentials: Website Owner/Site Admin

I am tickled pink, because I know, that in all reality, we DO have our moments! Medical assisting, or any medical job is a very serious and at times, stressful job. Anybody here who pretends they are NEVER stressed, or never slightly irritated, or never wonder, "Now, why did he/she say that? For heaven's sake!", has probably NOT been in this field long enough. It happens even to the best of us! No doubt.

I am the first one to admit that I have been irritated, but I also kept my composure, and in retrospect, I am glad I did, because it was the RIGHT thing to do. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, either as a patient, or in my role as a professional.

Your Professional Title/Credentials: Website Owner/Site Admin