We did funny moments, twisted funny moments, unintentionally funny moments...what about those (rare) moments in "Columbo" that make you cringe?

For me, I always thought the king's "thumbs-up" at the end of "A Case of Immunity" was corny and trite. I usually have to look away from the screen for a few seconds.

I also can't stand Tony Goodland's lame dialogue right before Jarvis shoots him (in "Greenhouse Jungle") about loving his wife, doing what he can to keep her, "if money is what it takes, money is what she'll get" etc.

I also never liked the boy genius in "Mind over Mayhem" or the infamous girl (boy?) in "Most Crucial Game" whining about ice cream.

Any other moments like this?

"Playback" where Columbo thinks an air conditioning vent is an art display. Columbo is supposed to be subtly misleading about how smart he is, but that moment made him look dumb for a cheap laugh, especially since he isn't talking to the killer at the time.

When it comes to Playback, I have a really TINY complaint about that one party guest, even though it's nothing to do with the actress or the character. For some time, it was so popular for trendy English women in stories to say "Super!" that it could get on your nerves a little, and she says it TWICE. (Again, a pretty tiny complaint.)

"Mind Over Mayhem" has a few cringeworthy bits to it. First off, the lead scientist doesn't exactly use all his brain cells in planning his deed. This is a problem I have with both this episode as well as with the "Bye-Bye Sky-High, My Phonograph Just Killed This Guy" episode. Both featured really smart guys committing stupidity while committing murder and/or accidentally confessing to murder.

Worse though, is the use of Robby the Robot as the Robot, MM7. To me, (very much in my own opinion, of course) the use of the robot is a very 1950s view of what "the future" will be like. Obviously looking at it now, from a 2012 point of view, it comes across quite silly. But I've been thinking for a few decades now that it came across as quite silly.

I definitely would never show "Mind Over Mayhem" to a Columbo-virgin as an introduction to the series.

e, I'm so surprised that you don't like the scene with the little girl whining after the ice cream truck in "Most Crucial Game". It's one of my very favorite scenes in all of "Columbo".

Robert Culp's murderous Paul Hanlon driving off as that little brat comes running up wanting her ice cream, is hysterical.

The only way that scene could have been improved, would be if Hanlon, upon hearing the girl's cries, had stopped the truck, backed it up to the brat, bitten off the goody-part of a popsicle and then flicked the empty stick at her head, bouncing it off her forehead.

Yes, Headache, that would have been an improvement! I think it's the voice of that little brat more than anything...nails on a chalkboard! Too bad they didn't include an interview between her and Columbo (as in Audrey in "Etude") so we could see what the little b**** looked like up close! I always thought Audrey was a little annoying, too, but not as bad as the ice cream girl.

interesting topic, e.
and i agree with all the posts thus far...really cringey!

i might add that the moment in 'lady in waiting' when beth chadwick has her hair done and she's all over the top with how she looks..and even columbo is feigning his enjoyment of it. dear heavens! it's only a flip hairdo!

and then there is the scene in 'old-fashioned murder'...where columbo is in the jewelry store and sees his reflection in the mirror of his 'darryl' hairstyle. for some reason, it just creeps me out.

and also in 'old-fashioned murder' is the ultimate CRINGE moment...........when janie discovers the bodies and approaches auntie ruth.

No offense to Susan Clark, but one problem with that scene is that she shares it with a "buffet" of very attractive extras, plus Barbara Rhoades! So in spite of her big makeover, Beth herself automatically has trouble in that scene.

Interesting how different people react in different ways. I always feel a little cringe of sadness/sympathy for the ice-cream girl getting stiffed by Paul Hanlon. A guess I feel bad about disappointing a child. Her voice does sound odd, though, which I attribute to bad looping. Problems with post-production audio abound in the original series run.

There are petty annoyances in just about every episode, but the ones that come immediately to my mind are John Cassevetes’ lame attempt at portraying a maestro and Anjanette Comer as a concert pianist.

Also, I have to admit it makes me cringe whenever the studio overdubs Dog with barking/whimpering tracks that make sense, but don’t fit the scene.

As I'm watching "The Conspirators" (1978) for the first time now... what a strange cringeworthy line Columbo just said, after being greeted by the killer while playing his pinball machine:

"Excuse me sir, I couldn't resist trying your pinball machine. I guess I tried a little too hard... but that's an old problem with me, sir. The way I keep steering and pushing and pulling at things, someday the whole sky is gonna light up, and it's gonna say 'tilt', and that's gonna be the end of the world. My name is Columbo sir, I'm with the police".

Hard to imagine anything more cringeworthy than Columbo playing the tuba.

A definite fast forward moment...

When it comes to The Greenhouse Jungle, I still have a problem with Columbo almost casually exposing the deal Tony and Ken had made to Cathy (even mentioning Ken in the third person, which isn't exactly "like" Columbo). I know someone pointed out that the deal they'd made wasn't exactly legal, making it Columbo's business to some extent, but that just isn't what it feels like. Instead, it feels like he's just butting in. Hey, likeable Gloria was Tony's "kept woman" in SOME sense or other, and that never bothered me, so I have no problem with the Cathy and Ken arrangement. (Even if he COULD be paid to stay away from her.)

There are so many from the '90s episodes it would take too long to list them all.

From the originals, how about the simultaneous chess match (especially the 2-move checkmate!) in 'Most Dangerous Match' and the "Tisn't" scene in "Commodore"? Also the bit in 'Bye Bye Sky High' when Columbo starts complementing the girl "for her body" is a bit creepy by modern standards.

I think Janie's scream in "Old Fashioned Murder" has to be the winner though!

Since you bring up the ' 90s version, and since this is a whole new thread, I'll say it for the millionth time -

His female partner SHOOTING at a fleeing suspect, regardless of missing. (And no, the key word isn't "female," I just don't know her name or which episode). In anything called "Columbo," only the MURDERER should be firing a gun.

The toilet clues in "Night Life." (Where's the slightly squeamish writer of "Dawn's Early Light" when you need him?!)

Handcuffs in any later episode.

Also - and at least one of you has very big reasons for LIKING this - any episode that ends with some "young punk" kind of killer TREATED as a "young punk" kind of killer - in other words, "Night Life" and "Goes To College."
My reason for NOT liking that is kind of simple (maybe TOO simple). In a COLUMBO, things like young and old don't entirely exist when it comes to the killer. To me - and this might make at least one of you kind of queasy - the killers in "Night Life" and "Goes To College" are in that same "Sir" and "Ma'am" category as all the OTHERS, which means no handcuffs, no "Come on, punk!" lines from Columbo's partner, just that same walking away quietly business as usual. So that's enough to make me avoid the endings of those two.

e,

In my favorite episode Agenda for Murder, I think the dialogue is so good. But there is one just plain stupid, cringe moment: the dry cleaner guy who drives the van. it's one of those moments where I have no idea what the writer was thinking!!

This may be an unpopular statement, but I have also never been a big fan of "This Old Man". It was used with restraint (most of the time) during the '70s, even though I still never liked it much, but it was way overdone in the '90s. Peter Falk occasionally humming or whistling the tune is one thing, but I always thought it was annoying and absurd when they incorporated it into the background music, credit sequences, etc.

It’s like says “I don’t like the dog or the raincoat or the cigar.” Go back to bed.

Probably the most cringeworthy "moment" was all the soundtracks from the ABC era. From the very first episode in 1989, the soundtrack is notably different, and sounds absolutely awful. It completely ruins any atmosphere the old shows retained.

oh rob,
I will have to disagree with you there. Perhaps its a generation thing, but frankly the music in these later episodes sound more modern and are better I think. Agenda for Music is good, so is Uneasy Lies the Crown. And lets not forget, Murder, a Self portrait. How can you say this is bad? And what about Sex and the Detective? Another good one!

I'm okay with almost any soundtrack that was WRITTEN FOR the thing it's in. What I mean is, one of my pet peeves is a whole lot of music (especially vocal songs) that already exist, being worked into a story. Even when it's "period" songs worked into a period story, and ones that I definitely LIKE, it can still get on my nerves. So any given music that someone sat down and wrote for the story can be all right with me.

e and Rob are correct. Overusing 'This Old Man', and the poor quality of the music in general, are good examples of the clownish nature of many of the '90s episodes.

My 2 cents: The Cringeworthy ERA

Personally one of the main reasons I find it so hard to watch the revival era episodes is because of Peter's performance. He just isn't the same, and it seems he is rushing through his lines and reading them off without any emotion or genuine acting, like he already knows what he's going to say 10 seconds ahead of time, and it makes all his dialog feel so unnatural. Most of his costars are worse. He is not at all like he was in the original seasons... I'm sure others here must know what I mean. There are SOME moments where he brings back that classic Columbo feel, but rarely. Also, he doesn't have any chemistry with most of the actors, except a few like McGoohan and Hamilton. That's what is cringeworthy to me, it makes the later episodes almost unwatchable.

The 11-year hiatus must have just been too long for Peter to reignite that flame, to reembody the character of Lt. Columbo.

Oh, and the episodes are waaayy too long. So boring.

"Ashes To Ashes" is brilliant with absolutely fantastic performances from both Peter Falk and Patrick McGoohan. There are some really terrific and hysterical scenes between the two and some heartbreaking scenes between Peter Falk and the murder victims puppy! One of my very most favorite Columbo episodes of all.

now I see I love the newer episodes because this is how I came to know about Columbo. I wasn;t around or living during the earlier ones. But when I watched the earlier ones for the firset time, yes they are very good. And i know what you al mean about his acting. He seemed more serious and into his role in the earlier episodes. again personally the music in earlier episodes is just lousy! but perhaps all shows back then had such a terrible music to me.

But, I do think good music adds to the show and I admit I love 80s as I grew up during that era. Ashes to Ashes is one where Its an OK episode. Frankly he is too old for the role and all that grey is distracting. but dont get me wrong, there were some earlier episodes I liked so much I watched it over and over. but the music was lacking, I think.

im obessive. Ive been watching uneasy lies the crown or scenes from agenda for murder like every night.

perhaps.. maybe I missed something. NExt time I watch, I will pay particular attention to the music.
since we cant agree, lets just at least agree that Adam is the biggest fan of Columbo! heehe

oh boy.. i have no idea why you need to proclaim that all the time, especially because you haven't seen all of the nbc episodes.
we're all big fans of columbo here--that's why we frequent this forum.

cassavetes45,ma'am, I have every single episode and I have seen all of the episodes. Some of the NBC ones, I have seen several times in fact.
one of my fav from those is Double Exposure, and A Friend in Deed.
I like Swan Song, too!

by the way, I love web design Im in the process of creating a columbo site!

Let me add to those who believe "This Old Man" was increasingly overused as time went on. It represented the gradual transformation of Columbo from wonderfully mysterious and clever to more iconic caricature of a sort. The perfect Columbo is the Columbo of early episodes like "Death Lends A Hand" where the gimmicks are not there yet.

I also think it was a big mistake music wise to have not retained Gil Melle's Columbo "Theme" from the episodes he scored in S1 for overall consistency in later years. I always felt Melle's theme captured the essence of the Columbo character in terms of light hearted wimsey but still a serious, brilliant detective underneath the exterior.

Indeed, it's really the series biggest flaw technically that there is no consistent theme over the years music wise. Watch the whole run of "McMillan And Wife" and you still get the familiar Jerry Fielding theme over the run of the series that provided some consistency to the characters. Columbo deserved that a lot more than "This Old Man".

There's a moment in Short Fuse that isn't a "cringe-worthy" moment for me, and yet it kind of belongs here, and it's that "Silly String" scene. Everyone acts surprised by it (not just startled) and one man even asks Rodger if it's his own invention. My question is, did anyone in 1971-72 (including serious-minded adults) not know that Silly String existed? As for that man's question, he probably couldn't have asked it in a flattering way, because this was while Rodger still had that "Junior" image instead of anyone thinking that he was "standing to inherit" the place.

I would say that the entire character of Roger Stanford was cringeworthy. I don't know...something about that soft voice/English accent contrasted against that immature/boyish persona and his antics just rubbed me the wrong way. And exactly how old was the character supposed to be...twenty-something? Roddy McDowall was over forty at the time.

Yes, but that boyish quality was practically the story of Roddy's life. I've mentioned it before, but it's such a switch to see him playing such an incredibly trendy early ' 70s character, as opposed to those fairly straight-laced ones he played at the same time. I just wish it had shown Rodger's home - lava lamps and black lights and incense burners everywhere! (And those wouldn't be any too comical to me, since I've never "outgrown" any of those three things.)

I had no idea Silly String started that late. I never owned any, but STILL, I always kind of thought it came along much earlier than that.

i wish we had seen rodgers home too. if only to see the first seasons 'second male guest'.

tsk tsk.

I must be having a dense moment...I don't get robbie's joke.

I would like to also add Dagger of the Mind, Last Salute To The Commodore, and Mind Over Mayhem episodes as a cringe moment while we're at it!!

e, i'm sure you know about ken franklin's line in 'murder by the book' when he asks james ferris to his cabin and says 'you will be my first male guest'.
i'm assuming that robbie is alluding to the fact that roddy mcdowall was gay, and if we were privy to seeing roger stanford's apartment, he might possibly have a male guest over.

(it sorta loses some of the funniness with my drawn out explanation of it. )

Thanks, cass. I figured Roddy's "preferences" had something to do with it, but I didn't make the connection to the line in "Murder by the Book."

glad to oblige, sir.

On the matter of Roddy's ability to play much younger than he was. He already had a track record of that, since a few years before his "Columbo", he actually played a high school senior when he was 38 in the satirical comedy, "Lord Love A Duck" with Tuesday Weld. That may have been what they were channeling when they came up with him for the part.

helen crump was one of the things that ruined TAG show as far as many fans are concerned (myself included) so the more shes insulted the better.

cassavetes45

(it sorta loses some of the funniness with my drawn out explanation of it. )

Mrs. Melville would have put it together like that!

I don't have very many truly *cringe-worthy* moments. I'd call them awkward moments, if anything--and even at that, I've learned to appreciate them as part of the Columbo experience. There is one scene that truly does make me cringe--in the ABC run, there's an episode (Murder of a Rock Star, or something like that) that features a completely unnecessary cameo by Little Richard. The whole thing is weird, but especially when Columbo walks in during a Little Richard performance and is shown in brief reaction shots "getting down" to Richard's music. I have to look away--very uncharacteristic and forced.

Other minor cringes:

Columbo ogling Milo Janus's secretary.

Alex Benedict speaking to his mechanic with a phony British accent for no apparent reason (and right after the mechanic indicated his private annoyance with Benedict's self-importance, too). (Sorry, Cassa!)

Columbo interrogating Mario DeLuca (Vittorio Rossi's nephew) in Italian, getting suddenly, unnecessarily, and very uncharacteristically combative. And it's overacted.

Ken Franklin pretending to be attracted to Lily LaSanka, and her buying it.

Columbo standing directly in the path of the marching regiment in By Dawn's Early Light (while looking for the door in the gym), as if he didn't hear them approaching.

"Lovable" Dr. Hiedeman insulting his nurse and generally being rude to everyone.

Columbo pulling off his shoes in Double Shock and daring Dexter Paris to "compare arches."

Every time Mrs. Peck goes off the deep end blowing up at Columbo.

Columbo visiting the shocked and grieving Nora Chandler and having her say silly things on the phone to his brother-in-law.

Pretty much any scene in Mind Over Mayhem.

Columbo flirting with pre-teen girls in Bye Bye Sky High and Etude in Black.

Harold Van Wyck, when caught in a lie, trying desperately to get his wife to cover for him.

The thinly-veiled racism in the opening of A Matter of Honor, where the Mexican people are shown feigning injury after a minor fender-bender to bilk an American tourist.

Pretty much every scene in Last Salute to the Commodore. Especially Swanny's grating and inappropriate fake laughter.

And yeah, Columbo reacting with feigned surprise to the big "reveal" of Beth Chadwick's new 'do, when he had already been looking at her for a good minute or two.

Good list, John.

Another scene I never liked is in "Any Old Port" when Columbo has that exchange with Karen Fielding when she asks for his name and he gives her a hard time. I don't know if it is truly cringeworthy, but it is annoying and pointless.

I'd like to add the final scene in 'Dagger of the Mind'. A very disappointing final clue, and the reaction of Nicholas Crane on being confronted with no evidence whatsoever is a bit embarrassing.