Thinking of in "The Most Crucial Game" when Paul Hanlon, so frustrated by being worn down, yells, "Columbo, I'm gonna throw you out of here on your ear!".....and Columbo's answer to that is classic. He retorts, "I wouldn't do that, sir, I mean you'll miss the best part. You see, I'm not finished."
...and while I'm thinking of it, in "Columbo Goes to College", Justin Rowe's mom opined "Poor Professor Rusk. First he's murdered, then they assign this rumpled little dumbbell to find his killer." If she only knew, right???
It sounds like an expression so it might not have been written for the story, but there's Marshall Cahill's line -
"You have a transparent mind, which in no way implies clear thinking."
Justin and Coop in “Columbo Goes To College” were great:
Justin: “I know June and she’s a pretty good gal”?
Coop: Too much?
Justin: No, it’s perfect. This is almost too easy.
“You know what? Maybe it’s time I introduce him to my father”
“This is better than sex”.
And the “rumpled little dumbbell” takes them down before they even knew they were in a fight.
I think Ken Franklin was also pretty obnoxious: “Tell me, how long have you been a lieutenant, Lieutenant? Mrs. Melville would have put that together like that!”
All of the "Columbo Goes to College" lines reminds me of the exchange where Justin and Coop are talking about his Peugeot and Columbo tells them "not a day goes by somebody doesn't wanna buy it...." and then Justin says, "How about your suit? Get a lot of offers on that, too?" And Columbo at this point, knows they are just pulling his leg and calls them on it. I like that he adds that Mrs. Columbo tells him she's going to have the suit sent out to be cleaned and burned.
Mr. Rowe in Columbo Goes To College is brutal on Columbo: “You’re investigating the man’s murder and you’re unaware that he wrote a series of incendiary true crime exposes?
You were unaware that the security guards brother is a convicted hired killer? You didn’t check because he’s a “nice guy” My 22 year old son knew it. It’s clear you don’t have the vaguest notion of which end is up. It’s just a statement of fact. I can’t do your job for you. Here’s the professor’s book. READ IT!”.
He really zings him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Columbo treated so poorly. Even Commissioner Halperin apologized after blowing his stack. But I don’t think Mr. Rowe apologized after Columbo finally solved the case, lol.