Don't forget that also in "Any Old Port" he calls his wife up and she tells him to get lettuce and milk. Milk is likely for kids. However, regarding the "babysitter" excuse, the fact is that he didn't intend to bring his wife so he might have made up the story. "Most Crucial Game" seems to be a clearer reference to children, but considering how much he talks about his wife, he has very few references to kids, so it seems the writers felt it was better not to talk about it in spite of the fact that they make him out to be such a family man.
It's in the FAQ, which links to the detailed discussion to be found in the Scrapbook article, "Columbo Family Album".
Here's an excerpt, but you might enjoy checking out "Columbo's Family Album" for much, much more about Columbo's large and colorful family:
Q. Do Columbo and his wife have any children? More than one?
A. Good question -- depends on the episode.
In "RIP, Mrs Columbo" he claims he and his wife never had any children. But then he was talking to a homicidal maniac who was trying to kill his wife, so Columbo may have lied to protect his family.
In "The Most Crucial Game" (1972) he says the wife complains that the ice cream man comes before dinnertime and spoils "the child's" appetite.
In "Any Old Port In A Storm" (1973) he says he went on a picnic with the wife and "my kid". Might have had another child too young for the picnic, because in the same episode he needs a babysitter and buys 2 quarts of milk, and says "You know how it is when you have kids."
And he says it's too hard for him to write a book at home with "the family and all," which sounds like multiple kids running around ("Publish Or Perish," 1974)
In "Mind Over Mayhem" (1974) he says the wife and "kids" are visiting his mother-in-law.
The likely explanation is that Columbo's family grew during the long run of the series. He was married in 1966 , only one year before "Prescription: Murder"
(25th anniversary in 1991 - "Death Hits The Jackpot").
I agree with the earlier poster...he lied about the babysitter in "Any Old Port" because he really didn't want his wife to come. I've always been under the impression he didn't have any kids because at some point or another he'd have to talk about them -- after all, he's always bragging about nieces and nephews! However, he tells the dog training guy in "Mind Over Mayhem" that he has kids, and he has no reason to lie to him, so it's a paradox.
I had always assumed that Columbo's family life was used by the Lt. as ploys in his game of cat and mouse. If he needed to distract someone with a story about a "kid" or "kids", he'd come up with one--just like his nephew working his way through community college as a waiter--wasn't he studying refrigeration?--who he borrowed a tux from. Such stories put the murderer off guard as it confirms their upper-class sense of superiority. After all, the children of the murderer probably attend a prestigious private academy.
Oh, one more thing...I logged off and had to get back on because I thought of something else.
The absence of any Columbo children could be proved by everyone's favorite episode, No Time to Die. If he had kids, wouldn't we have seen them at the wedding?
Oh....I have no proof to support this as all...it is pure sentimental fluff....but I would like to think that he had kiddies...he is such a sweetie and he would have been a great daddy....so in my head Columbo and his wifey had children.
I think I emailed this exclusively to one replier, but meant to post it:
It is a great point that at Columbo's nephews wedding the family would have probably all been there- including any kids. However, some couples specifically choose to not have children attend their wedding. I will have to watch the episode and see if there are any other children at the wedding to know for sure if that is a viable possibility. Does anyone know off hand...
Danielle, (lovely name by the way..I have a nephew who's girlfriend's name is Danielle) anyway...that is a good point that maybe Columbo didn't bring his kiddies with him to the wedding. Was his wife there? I try and shut that episode out of my memory because I really dislike it so much.
As I had posted before...I prefer to believe he had children. He was Italian, and probably Catholic as well, so he must have had children.
By all accounts he seemed to have come from a traditional Italian, Catholic family, so that would indicate that he probably did have kids. Also, being of the same religious background and decent, it is most likely that the whole family - including the kids and proabably extended family too- were invited to the wedding. I am going to take a look at that episode (although I agree it was a bit diturbing) and see what I can come up with. Great insight!!!
I admit I am neither Italian nor Catholic, but it's a good point. Maybe Columbo and his wife couldn't have kids? Then again, No Time to Die (of all the episodes) is the least to base any kind of conclusion about his background, since you could have placed any policeman in his place and the story would have remained the same -- in other words, aside from the first three minutes, it was the most un-Columbo movie of them all.