columbo arrives sleepily at a crime scene, with egg in hand, and speaks to a fellow cop.."i like hard-boiled eggs..they're great for breakfast...but i always forget to bring my salt shaker."
Columbo in Hawaii: "No, I don't surf. I have a balance problem and would probably fall off. It takes all of my effort to keep from falling down on land."
-OR-
Columbo at the doctor's office: "Doc, there has to be something wrong with me. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see someone else."