Columbo to a guest at Columbo's golden wedding anniversay party:

"Gee, thanks for coming Sergeant Brady, I'd like you to meet my wife, but she had to go down to San Diego for her neice's balet recital."

Veterinarian to Columbo: "I'm sorry, but this dog looks like he has been dead for 2 weeks".

Columbo to Vet: Are you sure Doc....I mean he's always been a little listless...but not any more so lately..

Columbo to salesman at TV appliance store:

"Yeah, my wife sent me down, we just couldn't find a repair man who could get the tubes anymore to fix this old set. It was the best model they had. Top of the line in 1952...it had...whad'ya call them...bunny ears...???"

"...you mean to tell me, that with this new set you can change the channels without even getting up off the sofa??"

"...Gee,I don't know...that's about the only exercise I get"

This is great ... I knew you people could come up with some good ones. Here are two more I thought of too.

Columbo to the electronics specialist: "I don't know much about that, but my brother-in-law, he's the expert when it comes to electronics."

Columbo in the "Cigar" Store: "What? They don't make my brand anymore?"
Store Owner: "Yes. Mrs. Columbo's continuing complaints finally sent them out of business."

Columbo to young detective trainee who suggests they look up something "on-line" on the Inernet.

Columbo: "Internet"?...You mean that has somethin' to do with all this new computer stuff..??......
.....Boy, isn't that somethin'...
...I thought "Internet" was a bad serve in tennis.

Columbo to an interviewer from "Detective Magazine":

Well when I was a kid, I was inspired by the the sories of Sherlock Holmes....I even had this little plastic model of him and Dr Watson....you must remember those models...you know if sent 49 cents and 3 box tops to Battle Creek Michigan....boy what a thrill when that package came back in the mail...of course my wife doesn't want them on the mantelpiece anymore. Well, whad'ya gonna do...My dog swallowed one of them last week.....Say, you don't know if they're still available ,do you?"

Columbo to a fashion designer, who is an irritated suspect in Columbo's sight.

Suspect commenting on Columbo's new pinky-ring: "My, that's an interesting ring Lieutenant"

Columbo: Oh, that's just a prize I got.

Suspect: What, for marksmanship ??

Columbo: Oh,no nothin like that sir...it came from a box of CrackerJacks....

Columbo to suspect "I have to show you something. Hmm...I had it right here...under my raincoat."

Suspect "I don't need to see THAT."

You guys are great with this stuff...but where were you when the writers could only come up with "No Time to Die" ?

^oh dear...shades of michael k!

"Really, Lieutenant, I wish you would not do that."

"Do what, Sir?"

"What you just did."

"What was that, Sir?"

"That exiting a room and then reentering. It is most unnerving."

"Do I do that Sir? I hadn't noticed."

Columbo is being told by the department that he has to crossed-trained as a motorcycle cop.

Columbo says: "Gee Captain, I don't think that's such a good idea. I had trouble back in the 9th grade when my friends chided me into taking the training wheels off of my bicycle. Boy that was a great bike...remember we used to put a playing card against the spokes....' course it was a used bike, a little bent in the back...

Columbo on the pistol range. "How do you load one of these things?"

Columbo to Jethro Bodine:

"Nice car !"

Boris Spassky to Columbo: Lieutenant, my comrades in America have told me about your great success. With your great mind you would make a great Chess player".

Columbo: "Who me? Oh, no sir. I get lucky sometimes. I'm more of a Dominoes and Checkers guy. Not great, but pretty good. Shucks, I usually can beat the dog 3 out 5."

Columbo to IRS investigator:

"I don't know how that could have happened sir. It really wasn't my decision...I mean whadda I know about it? My wife told me I should get help.

My cousin's friend Rico down at the barber shop told me how to handle it. Oh, he's good...been helpin' people for years...took a correspondence course back in 1978 for it. You know the guy...Rico ! Where's his number...wait a minute...I had it here somewhere."

Columbo to Fidel Castro:

"Is that a Cuban cigar, sir ?"

"Si...Loootenant"

"I hate to bother you sir, but...do you think...."