Columbo to young detective trainee who suggests they look up something "on-line" on the Inernet.
Columbo: "Internet"?...You mean that has somethin' to do with all this new computer stuff..??......
.....Boy, isn't that somethin'...
...I thought "Internet" was a bad serve in tennis.
Columbo to an interviewer from "Detective Magazine":
Well when I was a kid, I was inspired by the the sories of Sherlock Holmes....I even had this little plastic model of him and Dr Watson....you must remember those models...you know if sent 49 cents and 3 box tops to Battle Creek Michigan....boy what a thrill when that package came back in the mail...of course my wife doesn't want them on the mantelpiece anymore. Well, whad'ya gonna do...My dog swallowed one of them last week.....Say, you don't know if they're still available ,do you?"
Columbo is being told by the department that he has to crossed-trained as a motorcycle cop.
Columbo says: "Gee Captain, I don't think that's such a good idea. I had trouble back in the 9th grade when my friends chided me into taking the training wheels off of my bicycle. Boy that was a great bike...remember we used to put a playing card against the spokes....' course it was a used bike, a little bent in the back...
Boris Spassky to Columbo: Lieutenant, my comrades in America have told me about your great success. With your great mind you would make a great Chess player".
Columbo: "Who me? Oh, no sir. I get lucky sometimes. I'm more of a Dominoes and Checkers guy. Not great, but pretty good. Shucks, I usually can beat the dog 3 out 5."
"I don't know how that could have happened sir. It really wasn't my decision...I mean whadda I know about it? My wife told me I should get help.
My cousin's friend Rico down at the barber shop told me how to handle it. Oh, he's good...been helpin' people for years...took a correspondence course back in 1978 for it. You know the guy...Rico ! Where's his number...wait a minute...I had it here somewhere."