Boris Spassky to Columbo: Lieutenant, my comrades in America have told me about your great success. With your great mind you would make a great Chess player".
Columbo: "Who me? Oh, no sir. I get lucky sometimes. I'm more of a Dominoes and Checkers guy. Not great, but pretty good. Shucks, I usually can beat the dog 3 out 5."
"I don't know how that could have happened sir. It really wasn't my decision...I mean whadda I know about it? My wife told me I should get help.
My cousin's friend Rico down at the barber shop told me how to handle it. Oh, he's good...been helpin' people for years...took a correspondence course back in 1978 for it. You know the guy...Rico ! Where's his number...wait a minute...I had it here somewhere."