- and it was instrumental in my recovery. Please remeber that the very fact you have posted on a blog means you want to confront the illness and rid yourself of it. and you will. talk to your health visitor. talk to your doc - they wont think of you badly in any way. if you find the doc is unsympathetic , see another one. If they prescribe anti d's - don't be ashamed. I truly believe taking anti d's saved my life. I took sertraline but it didnt work for me ( tho i know a lot of people i have met with pnd and say sertraline was totally amazing for them ) so when I went into the unit, they changed me to amitriptrline. and within a couple of weeks, i felt the anxiety going. there are hundreds of anti d's on the market and there will be one to suit you. Please remember that recovery wont occur over night - it can take a while - but you will get there. Recovery isnt easy - I still have dark days - but I am well , and I can function , and I don't think joe was a mistake. Without knowing it , you will develop natural love for your child. The anti d's can help your thoughts to function propoerly again and you can start rerbuilding your life. I felt that no one in my family could understabnd what was wrong, so I had no one to talk to , without being judged. I got I contact with the association of post natal illness and they arranged for a volunteer who had got over pnd to phone me. We still talk reguarly now - I call if I have a shaky day - but the shaky days go.

You will get better. Please trrust me. Your styory rings so true to me - but please remember - it will get better. When I was in the unit , I used to think the nurses were crazy saying I would get better. I thought I would be the only person to never recover. But I did get better. Go to your doc , see your hv. See if they can arracnge for a community psychiatric nurse to see you. Ask about anti d's. there is so much help out there. It will get better katherine.

Lots of love xxx Eve