hi their i was young when i had my son justin i was just 20. after just 2 months of having justin i began feeling deeply depressed and crying hysterically but kept telling people i was coping evan my partner, untill one night when my partner martin came home and had a go at me for not washing up. i felt usless and for a split second a thought about hurting myself(sounds so stupid now,just because of washing up but i felt as everything was falling apart). it was then i knew things wasnt right then admitted to health visitor and familly a wasnt coping. the support was unberlievable. my health visitor came over every week to see me familly came over to help a really wish i hadnt kept it too myself for such a long time. martin didnt understand at first but as soon as he begun to see me get happier he soon changed his mind. i did go to counciling but didnt find that it worked for me personally ( she kept on going on about my past which i was fine about). after been on my tablets for 2 months i found that i felt much better and silly me took myself off them without telling the docters. wen justin was nine months i all of a sudden wen back into a very deep depression where i thought a just couldnt cope again and ended back at the docters where they put me back on tablets again. the docter very nicely explain that i shouldnt of just taken myself off my tablets and thats why i felt evan worse this time. i felt very silly but so pleased for the help. if i had stayed on my tablets the first time i would of been off them when my sons 1st birthday but because of my relaps i am now still on them but only for another month or so. their is no st time that you come off them just as soon as the docter think you are ready your health is so much more important. i personally found that talbets was the best thing for me, they didnt really offer me anything else appart from counceling. dont know if this has helped at all but i wish you all the best and hope you feel so much better soon xxxxxxx p.s going to the docters doesnt mean you are a failare it mean you are a stronger person for getting the help you need xxxxxx

Sometimes i feel on top of the World with my lovely, supportive husband and gorgeous baby daughter. Other times I feel empty, desperate and worthless.
I felt like i couldn't cope from the start, but i put this down to being a first time mum. We went on holiday for a week when our daughter was 5 weeks old and i cried for a great deal of our holiday - obsessively worrying that i was terminally ill and wouldn't see our daughter grow up. I desperately loved my baby girl, but couldn't help but feel she'd be better off with someone that could care for her properly!
I sought help from our G.P and Health Visitor and eventually received some cognitive behavioral therapy - although i'm not convinced that this helped!
Now 9 months on, i get good days and bad. I love my daughter and my husband and try as he does, i never think that he will really understand. I hope that the coming months will allow me to feel better and fully enjoy being a mum!