Sometimes i feel on top of the World with my lovely, supportive husband and gorgeous baby daughter. Other times I feel empty, desperate and worthless.
I felt like i couldn't cope from the start, but i put this down to being a first time mum. We went on holiday for a week when our daughter was 5 weeks old and i cried for a great deal of our holiday - obsessively worrying that i was terminally ill and wouldn't see our daughter grow up. I desperately loved my baby girl, but couldn't help but feel she'd be better off with someone that could care for her properly!
I sought help from our G.P and Health Visitor and eventually received some cognitive behavioral therapy - although i'm not convinced that this helped!
Now 9 months on, i get good days and bad. I love my daughter and my husband and try as he does, i never think that he will really understand. I hope that the coming months will allow me to feel better and fully enjoy being a mum!