On Saturday last it came to light that Derrick Brown is East Fife's number 1 fan. This was exclusively revealed during an interview with our presenter on EFSTV, when it became obvious that he was a much bigger supporter than anyone else had ever been, ever.
Previous number 1 fan a Mr Deek urafanny who regularly makes the 10,000 mile round trip from his home in Darkest Peru was unavailable for comment. However a close friend and neighbour, Mr P Bear was qouted as saying Deek will be devestated by this news, but it is difficult to argue with Mr Browns achievments. It really has been a wonderful rise in the clubs fortunes since derrick took full command, following our promotion to division 2.
I think it's fair to say that no one at the club at the start of the season could have reasonably expected us to be in the lofty position of 7th in the 3rd division at this stage of the season.
Mr Browns entirely selfless actions this season have also seen the mound outside New Bayview flattened (a longterm eyesore, on an otherwise stunningly beautiful site at Methil docks) The mound having previously been described by Prince Charles as a hidious carbuncle on the face of an old friend.
Following these revelations the supporters trust and indeed all other East Fife fans everywhere have conceeded that any criticism of Mr Brown would be entirely unwarrented and most certainly not in the greater good of the club.
So! sir we salute your indefatigability and hope you will continue to wear the blazer with pride!
Mr Hamilton has asked us to point out that he is Number 2.(as if we were in any doubt)

This is a work of complete fiction, should not be taken seriously by anyone. And is in no way intended to offend anyone.