"Wonder if derrick bought us anyting at the Metro centre"

"Ok, we are here, where are the customers"

"I see they've got us in a corner again."

"Perhaps Igor and Eugene would like to join us for a chat?"

Derrick, give us our spines' back yabassa.

Derrick, have we been good enough to come away from the naughty corner yet?

"Right Davie,move along and let Miss Twigg sit in between us"

Are you alright doon there Derrick?

whar's the birds

Its nice to sit amongst all our friends at one sitting!

At the end of the day, i've been winning caption competitions for 50 years and I also saved that table from going bust six years ago.

no wonder the electricity bills so high

See we did manage to get rid of the Brown's after all.

"if we move to the mound, we might get 2 butts on the other seats. Especially it it was a Morelands Pie on the menu!!

The only 2 directors who can end the protest! but will they do it?

Hey we done it
It's only us left
It's all ours, all ours ,you hear !!!!!!!!!!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA

Is that you rubbing my leg??
Where did Derrick and his wife Disappear to?

"Do you have a childrens menu for our major shareholder"

Just like the team photo - the one in the middle's a plant.

Peter Stringfellows new partner serves dessert under the table!

There aint nobody here but us chickens.

The standard lamp's appointment to the board was welcomed by all the right-thinking members of the Levenmouth community.

The first meeting of the Friends of Derrick Brown club

we are aright pair of plonkers aren't we

"The standard lamp's appointment to the board was welcomed by all the right-thinking members of the Levenmouth community. "

Cracking pic btw!

"Say Cheese"

Davie Hamilton: "I'm not used to speaking in public"

(off camera) "If you think that you are getting a free meal for this, I can assure you - YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE NOT!"

After a rare victory, East Fife directors eagerly anticipate a post match custard cream from the boardroom biscuit tin.

good god we dint think droon was that good

Three's a crowd !!! Get out from below the table Zoe Kenny's wifes coming in !!

Awww Davey thats reekin'

(Julian off camera)

Now boys....

Derrick- now big smiles

davie- ok derrick, can i get out to play tonight if i do

Derrick- if you support east fife more than i do then yes

Andy- On yer bike!!

East Fife board are proud to introduce a new chairman who has double the charisma and PR skills of outgoing 'chairman' diggit brown.

Introducing a small inanimate tree-bush™

"whars oor denners"
Betty Broon,"Wullies eating thum, again"

Andy-"look, theres Wullie wi McGoon un is cronies"
Davie-"Jist gee thum a smile or wi might end up like the mound!!!"

Give us another flash,Derrick

"What do you mean we were supposed to bring packed lunches?"

Seemingly unfazed by the fact that he’d forgotten to wear any trousers, Davie put on a brave face as he planned his escape as soon as the cameraman’s back was turned.

The inaugural meeting of Levenmouths right-thinking persons committee, although not as well attended as was first anticipated, passed off smoothly with minimal discussion or debate.

Davie to Derrick [out of picture] "Can I go to the toilet please"

Derrick "At the end of the day, we tried going to the toilet at old Bayview and there was alot of bother, people are not interested in going to the toilet so there is no point in trying. Besides, i've been on the toilet for 50 years and I have red marks on my thighs where my elbows have been resting reading my copy of "A Cowden fans guide to fucking up your local rivals"

Bayview's version of the Vagina Monologues, featuring a bush and two fannies.

and as a follow up......

It was like a scene from a porn film down Bayview way as two fannies waited patiently for a big prick.

EFFC directors via the use of strange yellow cables emanating from their backs, generate enough energy to illuminate a 40 Watt bulb.
Money saved on energy will not be used to strengthen the playing squad however. This will only come from gate receipts etc etc.

East Fife unveil their new Chairman and vice Chairman

Whilst Derrick answered phonecalls from one hundred women in the office, Davie and Andy decided to knock eachother off under the table.

Its nice and quite in here with all them dipshits standing on the mound.

I'm so glad all our friends could make it !!!!

Alan Henderson removed his platform soles and took his seat to Hamilton's right.

Thats the last blind date am going on.
Georgeous tall redhead my arse !

"at the end of the day, you might think you're the hungriest person here, but you are not, YOU ARE NOT. I could eat a scabby horse; Betty, where's that hot-pot?"

Andy says"Look here comes the protesters"
Davie says"Right,take our jackets off.We'll blend in good with the background"
"YELLIE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

33% of a boolin'club committee.

I'm bored, i'm the chairman of the bored.

Davie (Peter Stringfellow) Hamilton models his new hair colour.......Cowardly Yellow!

Meet Colonel Mustard and Colonel Custard.

So who's collecting the pies from the mound then? Cos were no getting any food in here.

not a caption, but is it just me or when you look at that picture do you see two cowardly snakes?

Derrick: (off camera)
Smile you b@st@rds you're meant to be enjoying yourselves.
Diddie David:
But we've nothing to eat Mein Feuhrer!
Andy: (whispering)
Davie lets share a taxi, my tandem's out front.
Davie :
Andy what about our leader?

Derrick: (off camera)
Andy tell Davie the one about when you told Dave Marshall you'd back him all the way. My sides are still aching yet.
Davie: (sneeringly)
It's the way you tell them boss. Gets me every time.
Andy:
He walked into that one Bwana

the taxi came but only one of us got in it