At the end of the day I thought it was time for all you lesser supporters to be made aware of the main points of our ambitious plans to take the club forward, I…sorry the “board of directors” am sure that these plans will be welcomed by all right-thinking people and of course, the wider Levenmouth community.

The main aims of “the board of directors” in the coming five year period are as follows.

1. Re-naming of club. I was speaking to another Chairman who agrees that football club names are very outdated, I mean what are “academicals” anyway? What we need is names that highlight the great work put in by those who have saved clubs from extinction and will be forever remembered as true heroes and great supporters of their respective clubs.

I had to laugh when some un-educated mongrel who calls himself a supporter (when in reality he is just a stain on this clubs name) was rambling on about some guy called Charlie Fleming, some other guy called Henry Morris, or Morrison or something, who are they I hear you ask! Your guess is as good as mines. When I said HEROES I meant HEROES.

Therefore, “the board of directors” are pleased to announce that as from the start of the 2006/07 season the club will play under the new name of Dynamo Derrick FC, the black and gold strips will be retired and replaced by a trendy all brown number with “blazer-style” shirts sponsored by Fife Council. We are sure that all right-thinking people, and the wider Levenmouth community will be delighted with these ambitious plans to take the club forward.


2. Re-naming of stadium. As a reward for their loyalty, the remaining 4 loyal supporters will be featured in the new name of the stadium. As from the start of the 2006/07 campaign my…erm our ground’s catchy new name will be “The Right-Thinking Person/Wider Levenmouth Community/J.Derrick Brown Stadium”. We are sure that all right-thinking people, and the wider Levenmouth community will be reduced to tears with uncontrollable semi-violent fits of joy with these ambitious plans to take the club forward.

3. Re-naming of Chairman’s title. “the board of directors” agreed that “King” sounded better and gave me more chance of keeping my SFA blazer, which will have the wider Levenmouth community and all right-thinking people hyperventilating in amazement.

4. Purchase of 1 packet of Space Raiders and a Mars Bar for our major shareholder. These ambitious plans signal the continuation of great relations between “the board of directors” and our major shareholder. We were also speaking about kicking those pesky young Fifers (who are not real supporters) our of their room at the club to provide our major shareholder with a venue to have her 9th birthday party. We are sure that all right-thinking people, and the wider Levenmouth community will be salivating in ecstasy with these ambitious plans to take the club forward.

5. Purchase of Crown and gold encrusted blazer. An idea put forward by my fellow board member Betty who claimed that it would “look nice on”. I…we promptly agreed with this motion and passed it without delay, which will no doubt by received by all right-thinking people, and the wider Levenmouth community in the form of numerous street parties, firework displays and a breakout of world peace as all conflict is set aside to take time to appreciate the great work done by our great leader and teacher, although I am very modest and don’t want any credit.

At the end of the day, if you think you have a better five year plan for East Fife FC then you do not… YOU DO NOT!!!!

Interesting to read on Derricks latest addition to his blog that the exciting new plans for the future of east fife involving the creation of season ticket packages!

It's forward thinking like this that is keeping the man in his position!

After all, Derrick has been creating ambitious plans for 40 years ...

All bow before Il Duce!