I've just spent the day cutting down a load of conifers in my garden in order to avoid falling out with my next door neighbour.
Now I have a lot of tree trunks that need removing. Does anyone have a chain saw I can borrow?
Also, I've taken five car loads of conifer cuttings up to the dump today and hardly made any impression on the pile of cuttings currently lying on my grass. Does anybody have a car with towbar and trailer? There's a shiny new sixpence for anyone who can help me out!!

I have one....

I'm sure GoF could help you out, the last time I saw his chainsaw it was an ornamental piece on the mantel piece. Might have been used since but wouldn't want to ask what it was used on

C`mon guys,this is a man who gives up his spare time to provide US with top quality pics of every East Fife game.
Surely the least we can do is rally round and support Jim in his hour of need.
Hammy has a van.......

P.S I cannae make it as the wee boy is playing fiba`.

Jim

Give me a call.
I'll get one of our contractors to do it as a favour.

Jim my head gardener would prob be interested in collecting them FOC if they were suitable for firewood

Thanks for the positive response, guys!
Lonefifer - yes, it would probably make good firewood once dried out. The trunks still sticking about 5 feet out of the ground would certainly make good logs for the fire once removed/dried/cut to size.
If he wants them please let me know ASAP as half of it is still sitting on my neighbour's lawn!
(mind you, he is a good guy, Landanah, Cwystal Pawwace s'powtah!!)

Bump!
Any word on your head gardener wanting the firewood, LF? I'll be off work this Thursday and Friday so he could pick it up then if he wants it. If I don't hear from you by then I'll dispose of it some other way.

AAAH, so this is where you get rid of all your dead wood. Thank God I've found it cos I've got a right pile of it here in LINOLAND. Not tae mention a great big muckle hulking piece o shite called Starks P*RK. Have you seen it lately a big rustin pile of crap. Any one with ideas how to get rid of it.

God damm right I can help you boys, I will be a headin up to little old Scatland in a few weeks. Can send a couple of my F18's over they'll blow the SHIT OUT OF THOSE ROVERS SONS OF BITCHES.

YEEEEEEE HAAAAAAA

Don't you just hate the smell of the place,

Ps Do the women from that place smell too ?

Well John before you turned up the management and board were doing a fine job of it themselves. Even with the help of Gordon "ROVERS SCUM" Brown they were slipping down the ladder of success. However you turned up and Fu*c'd that up "arse hole". Now get back to were you belong let them self distruct there is no point in trying to be a do gooder all your life.

yeah hes interested Jim send me ur address and directions (the guys from Cupar and doesnt have a clue where any place else is) and I will have him come down Thurs or Fri during the day. Do u need him to cut down the remaining 5 foot of tree as well as pick up what u have cut down??

Lonefifer - you have post!

Lonefifer

You and Jakey Joiner drinking in Berwick?
I will be in the Berwick Social Club if you guys want a pint.

and u have returned post Jim

Mike waiting for jakey to get back, had to scrap the train idea as it was unreliable however I may sacrifice the beer for takin the Scoob for a long run

game on Mike, Jakey is gonny navigate as I'll need both hands to keep it on the road as we are goin for a land speed record, Jakey doesnt finish whatever hes doin in kdy till 11.30. Hoping to be in the club social for 1.30-ish (give or take an hour for traffic reasons)

See you there.
Have you guys signed up for the Quiz?
Want to be in my team? (with apologies to Gary Glitter)

Mike - wont be there till 1.30 at earliest but ur welcome to phone us for the answers but dont know if we will hear it ring over the Dead Kennedys

Mike Flett - meant to say thanks for the offer of disposing of the conifers, but as you'll see Lonefifer's colleague wants them for firewood.
BTW, GG didn't sing "want to be in my TEAM", he sang "want to be in my GANG".
Tsk tsk. Come on, come on, your memory's going, Mike!
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on, come on, AH SAID!

(Actually, that should bring back memories for the early 1970's supporters like me, who used to bounce up and down under the covered terrace chanting that!!)

Pedant! I think?