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Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

For me, one of the funniest elements of the series is how desperate and exasperated the murderers get under Columbo's constant prodding. I felt the series maintained that dynamic up until the seventh (maybe even the sixth) season, where Columbo's relationship with the murderers was still intriguing, yet seemed to lack the high-strung irritation on the part of the culprit. Without that irritation, I feel the series lost much of its humor, though I think the sixth season still had a lot of funny moments, many of them with Columbo interacting with a character other than the murderer. In a sense, the murderers in the sixth and seventh season seem stronger in their resolve against Columbo (well, except for Oliver Brandt), letting very few indications of their stress seep through, which, of course, has an appealing quality of its own. Anyway, here I wanted to point out some of the scenes in the series where I think the murderer's exasperation is particularly funny or dramatic(or both).

"The Greenhouse Jungle" - While there are many instances of supreme irritability on the part of Jarvis Goodland, for me the funniest is when Jarvis and Columbo enter into the room in Jarvis's home with the pool table, where Columbo has a wonderful time angering Jarvis by being more interested in pool than addressing the culprit's inquiries about the investigation. Not only are Jarvis's verbal expressions of disgust hilarious (e.g. "What was kinda funny, too?!"), but his body language is comical, as well, as he shifts his weight in miserable impatience and desperation.

"Publish or Perish" - With Riley Greenleaf, too, there are many scenes of indignation, but I think the ending is especially great. When Riley first arrives at Alan Mallory's office, he is angry with Columbo, but then, when Columbo starts talking about the lock and key, Riley simmers down a bit, only to have a resurgence in fury when Columbo responds to Riley's comment about the door having been opened all along: "I don't see how that changes anything!" "About what, sir?" "About what HAPPENED! Now look, Columbo, I've had YOU up to HERE!" Although Robert Culp and Patrick McGoohan will always be my favorite recurring villains, Jack Cassidy was still fantastic as an openly angry and derisive opponent.

"Candidate for Crime" - This is perhaps my favorite display of anger, because not only is it funny, it shows how the murderer gets caught up in his own contradictions and pretense. The scene where Columbo is speaking to Nelson Hayward in his campaign office has a lot of great parts, but the specific one I refer to here is when Columbo states he doubts the murder was a case of mistaken identity, and Nelson flies into a rage, to which Columbo responds that he thought Nelson would be relieved to know he wasn't the intended target. Then, Nelson's classic, flustered response: "It's not a case of relief, it's a case of trying to intelligently appraise exactly what happened!"

"A Deadly State of Mind" - Everything in the final scene is fantastic, from Dr. Collier's irritable "Yeah, good morning", to his sarcastic remark, "What do we have here, the famous Ritz Brothers?" One exchange I find particularly hilarious is: "You wanted me to tell you when I had proof." "Is that it?! That piece of paper?!" "Proof?" "Well, yes or no?!" "This is an autopsy report." "So?!" Collier has resorted to a juvenile retort in his rage against Columbo.

Of course, there are dozens of other episodes that have equally hilarious displays of fury from the murderers, but it would take pages to go through them all. Does anyone have a scene of this sort that strikes them as particularly outstanding or funny?

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

One of mine is the way Paul Galesko narrows his eyes during one of Columbo's "Oh, one more thing" moments.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

How about "Short Fuse", in which a cocky and confident Roger Stanford plays it very cool and thinks he has all the answers until breaking down in that classic final scene?

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

one funny moment is on YouTube. Search for "Columbo no more questions".

He is in the middle of his start-leaving-the-rooom-but-turn-around-and-ask-another-question routine, but he gets preempted.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

One of the funnier moments of THE MOST CRUCIAL GAME is at the end, with Robert Culp saying "Columbo, what is it?!" in that comical drawn-out voice.

That and his very simple line "Your wife has my sympathy."

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

Delightful topic! I don't have a good answer for this item at the moment, but I have been moving homes the past month or so, and really missed this forum, as cemented by my joy today at seeing all of the fantastic new threads now that I am back! Missed all you people of excellent favorite-TV-detective taste! :)

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

Thank you, Wendy, and welcome back! And thanks to everyone who's posted their thoughts so far; I really enjoy reading these other examples, seeing what other fans have picked up from watching the series.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

You can see one big moment of this kind in a freeze frame - Lawrence Harvey with that completely fed-up look and his mouth wide open in the MOST DANGEROUS MATCH credits.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

That is a great image, Grant. Also, although it's been awhile since I last watched that episode, if I remember correctly there's the scene toward the end where Clayton is playing against several opponents at once, and Columbo keeps interrupting and causing him to make mistakes (very similar, actually, to the fantastic golf course scene in "Double Exposure"), until Clayton finally gets fed up and yells something like, "Give me proof!!" I love the tension in that whole scene, but kind of wonder what Clayton's opponents and the audience must have thought about this renowned chess player shouting at some guy in a raincoat.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

One of my favourites is near the end of Playback, when Columbo shows up yet again at the Van Wick household and Harold asks in exasperation: "Perhaps it would be more convenient if you moved into one of the guest bedrooms?" (or words to that effect)

I also like some of the faces Robert Vaughn pulls in Troubled Waters, especially the one when Columbo follows him around on deck and is standing behind him just when he thinks the conversation is finally over.

Another good moment is when Paul Galesko is attending his photo exhibition and someone points out to him that Columbo took a great interest in his work the other day. "And today as well", Galesko says irritatedly as he spots Columbo nosing around.

But my number 1 "irritation moment" has to be the scene in Murder By The Book where Ken Franklin explains that he's on his way down to his cabin for the weekend: "Would you like an itinerary?" Columbo's reply ("I'm sorry, I'm making a pest of myself") is greeted with a very sarcastic "nohhh!" Jack Cassidy is brilliant in that episode!

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

"I am Carlos Montonya and this is my country" So well done.

Great topic.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

I love Harold Van Wyck in that episode. He always seems so deadpan (in a good way), even when he's perturbed (well, except in that one instance where he loses his cool). One line I really like, where he seems somewhat annoyed at Columbo doing the gunshot experiment, is when he responds to Columbo's warning about the loudness of the gunshot, dryly stating, "I can handle it."

I like that Montanya line, too; he definitely shows a different sort of contempt than most other murderers, seeing Columbo as an intruder not only in his home, but in his country.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

So many good scenes. Johnny Cash's memorable line in the airport scene in Swan Song, "Columbo, are you following me?" was shown at the legendary Cash's funeral.

Re: Funniest/most memorable moments of murderer exasperation

That's neat, JenSam. I hadn't realized Cash's stint on "Columbo" got referenced in the aftermath of his passing, but it's great that it did. He had such a wonderful presence in that episode, and for me he out-performed some of the more professional actors from other episodes. I'm not sure if Cash was a fan of the show, but it wouldn't surprise me if he had at least some emotional connection; he seems to have such a grand time playing off Peter Falk.