Hi
I am also new to this forum have woken up this morning and feel v panicky again...thought it had got better. My little by is 5 months old now and things were very hard for the first 9 weeks. My partner and I were rowing constantly and i just felt i couldnt cope. I was crying all the time waking up in the night feeling very anxious and having panic attacks. When alfie was 9 weeks old my mum insisted i go to my GP. I am in the healthcare profession and my partner is a GP and initially had reservations that my GP would not understand or listen and just medicate me. He turned out to be amazing, very supportive and reassured me that medication would help and that it was necessary. My partner however was completely unsympathetic to how I was feeling because I was being bad tempered, aggressive and generally taking everything out on him. At best his level of support was to blame exhaustion for my behaviour and irrational thoughts. I accepted after seeing the GP and having very dark thoughts and extreme anxiety that I had PND and started taking Sertraline. I started to feel alot calmer after about 3 weeks and so much better after about 6 weeks. I too feel that my partner blames me for everything, things are ok when I am on an even keel but as soon as I have a bad few days which I did over new year and again at the moment he says the most awful things and that he wants me to move out. He has also said that my pnd is just me not coping with my new role!? Needless to say I have been awake most of the night worrying and crying about why I seem to have had a relapse when i thought I was doing so well and getting on top of things. Im not sure if these moods are pmt related too has anyone else had that? The anxious thoughts about my little boy have also returned which mainly consist of something bad happening to him or that I am not a good mother. I hate these feelings and feel v out of control again. Sorry to go on...

Hi suzie.... I got an e mail to say that u have posted on my thread.... Well I was surprised in a way coz I hadn't been on d forum for a long time... When I read my own posts it tears me apart to remember how bad I felt... How low I was... I really know how u r feeling n it's horrible to feel so so alone.. Is there an support group u can go to? Wer r u? It's reality that even though u expect people in d health service to be able to empathise with pnd they can't... As a lovely nurse told me one time.... We are the caring profession who do not give s ****... We aren't very good at looking out for each other at all. I found that wen u felt better n that things were starting to become managable that a small change could cause set back... Even someone asking bout wen I was going back to work send me into anxious thoughts of not coping. Have any big changes happened? I definately agree that pmt affects us too. I needed my mess increased 4 times in total... A lot but that's war it took. I too was on sertraline. Felt it took d dose being upped to keep me improving. I stayed on high dose for 6 months then started tapering down... Im on nights at d moment but I will definitely look out for u on forum.... X just believe u will get there..... I did....